– MON. FEB 25, 2013 –
This morning, at the [Supply Warehouse]…
I was working with my Boss — [Pablo] — on a supply stocking project to get ready for the upcoming Inventory of our store’s entire stock.
As we brought boxes of merchandise down from our Top Stock cabinets to put in their shelf locations, I noticed that [Pablo] kept coughing and hacking; my initial reaction was to be worried about getting sick myself —
(Just as a large number of our population these days, of course I have no Health Insurance; so if I get sick, I have to rely on Dr. NyQuil to get me back on my feet)
As we continued to work, his condition worsened.
He tried to hide it, but I caught him coughing up blood into his hands!
You could guess that, by this point, I was a little more than worried. But, as some of the worst Horrors in this world are born of Man’s Inhumanity to Man —
(I say “Man” as the traditional way of referring to “Humanity”, not to point out any specific man, nor to exclude any woman/women. After all, everyone is capable of committing their own atrocities, regardless of race, sex, creed, etc.)
— instead of panicking and freaking out, I tried to help him, to see if he was okay.
[Pablo] was hunched over in a fit of hacking, gagging, coughing…
So I approached him and put my hand on his shoulder —
— He whipped around and grabbed hold of my arm.
His eyes were Blood Red — I mean, he was literally dripping blood from his eyes! — and the veins in his face were popping out, making his face a horrifying map of twisting purple rivers.
A hoarse, ragged sound escaped his throat that reminded me of an animal’s growl. His eyes stared right through me, devoid of a soulful demeanor.
I tried to ask him what was wrong, and he opened up his mouth wide — too wide, almost like a snake unhinging its jaw — and I saw that his teeth were cracked and broken, having been ground down within the last few minutes by his own jaws being clenched with impossible force.
I almost didn’t even have time to react.
The Thing that was once [Pablo] lunged at me with It’s open, broken maw, saliva and blood gushing down It’s chin and pooling on the tile floor.
I pulled my arm to break free of the Monster’s grip, but It’s hand was like a Vice!
The force of my pulling away managed to throw the Thing off balance, as well as myself, crashing to the floor and knocking over a shelf display of Pens.
Frantically, I clawed at the Pen Display and got my hands on a Four-Pack of Purple Gel Pens. —
(Those pens are really hard to come by, by the way. I often get customers coming in looking for good Purple Pens, but we usually don’t have any)
— I dug my hands into the Package, spilling the pens over the floor.
The [Pablo] Thing got a renewed grip on my leg and pulled with a superhuman strength I never expected to come from an aging Office Supply Store Manager.
I saw the Pens rolling away from me — or was I just sliding away from the Pens? — signaling my most important hope for survival slipping away.
With a last push of energy, I lunged for the Pens, and felt my fingers fumble with one, tumbling it over and around my hand as I tried to get a lasting hold.
Finally, I felt a Pen slip snugly into my palm.
Gripping the Rare Purple Pen tightly, I swung my arm around toward the [Pablo] Thing, and plunged it right into his Right Eye!
The Pen buried deep, and I lost my hold on it only after the back end disappeared into the gushing socket of the [Pablo] Thing’s skull.
The two of us lay there in the Writing Tools isle of the store, Packages of Pens floating in spreading pools of Blood, Saliva and Eye-Fluid.
Luckily, I wasn’t harmed.
And, as for [Pablo]… He’s doing just fine. He may have turned into a flesh-craving Monster of some sort… But he got better 😀
… Damn, those Purple Pens are the best. No wonder they sell so fast.
.
.
– SIDE NOTE… –
I think I finally figured out where the idea for Rubber Chickens came from!
When I got home today, I helped Audrey —
(I know I said no real names, but Audrey’s like a part of me, so it’s okay)
— make some sort of Chicken meal for lunch. I was stirring the Chicken in the pan on the stove top, when suddenly it started jumping and bouncing around in the pan!
It looked like it was made of rubber, and I thought it was pretty funny…
So, now you know: Chicken imitates Rubber, and that’s pretty funny. Therefore, the ultimate Funny Prop is a real Rubber Chicken! XD
It’s okay, I made sure to stab the hell out of that Chicken with the spatula to make sure it was really fully dead. Nobody wants to eat a live Chicken, they’re too hard to swallow.