How Has Your Childhood Been Ruined Today?

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Why is the Film Market so saturated with Sequels, Remakes, Adaptations, Prequels, Spinoffs and Television-Prequel-Spinoff-Adaptation Shows!?
Don’t They know They’re destroying Classics and ruining our childhoods?!

This line of complaint seems to be all the rage lately…
And it’s total bullshit.

The answer to the first part of this proposed question is simple, and it should already be common sense:

Taking a chance on an as yet untested story is a huge risk for people who’s jobs hinge on the success or failure of the projects they take on. The safe bet is to adapt from a property that has proven it’s success in the past, that way if it fails, they can defend their job with hard data–

–“Well it’s not my fault, it worked before.”

First of all, Remakes and Sequels and blah blah blah are nothing new to the scene and, despite popular opinion, just being a derivative work doesn’t make a Film immediately bad, or even a bad idea. There are plenty of reasons to make a Movie of this kind, and there have been some great ones–

Don’t believe me? Watch John Carpenter’s The Thing for a great Remake (yes, it counts), or Aliens for a great Sequel

Hell, even I have a Remake that I want to do, because the original was a brilliant concept but the setting and some of the narrative is outdated, yet the themes are perfectly timeless and would work well in a new framework.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are lots of bad ones, and I agree with Doug Bradley that the real harm in this trend is that the big guys with the money aren’t buying into any of the truly amazing and original story ideas that are out there.
Just don’t demonize something because it’s not wholly original.

The next part is the worst, and frankly I’m sick of hearing it every time a Movie is announced.

Oh really, Michael Bay’s new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie hurt your childhood? The new design for the characters, Megan Fox and Michael Bay ruined the Ninja Turtles?–

Seriously, if anything ruined the Turtles, it was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3, followed by the Live-Action Television Show… Oh, and their Rock Concert Tour

I mentioned this concept in my last post while referring to Rob Zombie’s Halloween Movies, and I’m happy to state it again:

No Derivative Work or Adaptation can “ruin” the original
If you don’t like one of these Movies, the original version is still there. Go watch it.
No matter what they do to change the Ninja Turtles, it’s still a fact that I loved watching the cartoon and original Film as a kid. Nothing can change all the fun I used to have with my Brother making Crash Dummies out of our Turtles toys.
Obviously our past is not effected by the present. Your childhood is, for better or worse, intact.

As for the Ninja Turtles’ image?
You’re only upset because you think that the image of them that you were impacted by in the past has been changed, and change is bad.
Well for all of you following this train of thought, I have news for you:

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are ridiculous

It’s a weird, nonsensical and dumb concept for a gang of Comic Superheroes… and that’s the point.
They were always meant as a parody, a satire of the Superhero craze. They’re supposed to be ridiculous, and that’s why I love them so much.

People criticize Michael Bay for turning the Turtles into gritty, realistic, ugly monstrosities–

Which they are

–even though he wasn’t even a Writer or the Director of the Movie.

I’ll get more into Michael Bay in another post

But if you actually watch the Film, the Turtles are still totally the essence of comical Superhero satire. They are still the Ninja Turtles, and totally Bossanova!…

…um… Chevy Nova?

– Come talk to me on Mastodon or Twitter

Comments

2 responses to “How Has Your Childhood Been Ruined Today?”

  1. nobodylaugh.com Avatar

    And the kids think the new versions are the only versions…devastating.

  2. […] –More on this popular ridiculous expression of outrage in a later entry– […]